With the turn of the century comes big changes! This includes changing good things like Mountain Dew's formula for no real reason other than to cut costs and bad things, like introducing new flavors of Mountain Dew like 'Pitch Black'. Did I say 'Pitch Black'? I meant 'Absolute Shit'. Same difference.

Among some of the worst changes we got was incredibly shitty TV shows to watch. Not surprisingly, most of these are sitcoms and/or dramas for jaded housewives. Will and Grace, CSI, West Wing...you name it, it's shit! In fact, I can sum up almost all of these shows for you right now!

Will and Grace

Will: I'm stereotypically gay and you have to be reminded of this in every show, just in case my love for the cock sucking was forgotten in the last episode.

Grace: I have a tendency to get caught in awkward dating situations to appeal to lonely, middle-aged women who long for such emotionally trying experiences as a reason to bitch about it in their old age.

See how simple that was?

CSI

Congrats, you've made Scooby Doo boring and serious. This may be attributed to the lack of talking great dane and his stoner friend who has an eternal case of the munchies.

West Wing

See CSI, add more old people.

Law & Order

Make the lead an old man for the Matlock look to bring in the senior crowd. Ratings ahoy!

ER

Maura Tierney's career going downhill after News Radio. You have to be pretty god damn bored to watch a show that was made by your high school drama class friends and your biology teacher. I could make an equally coma-inducing show with a tripod and a medical degree.

Way to go, producers! You can produce the same mind-rotting effect that alcohol and drugs have through abuse of your demographic tables and ability to build suspense with commercials!


Take it. You deserve it, big guy.