"Kekekekekeke!" - Alfred's incredibly gay giggling, Resident Evil: Code Veronica (X) [Legal Snuff] Leon Kennedy, Jill Valentine, Billy Coen and Rebecca Chambers are all owned and copyrighted by Capcom Entertainment of Japan/USA, all rights reserved. Krizalid is owned and copyrighted by SNK, whom all should love. That's right. I, Arekusu Ikari reside in the mind of one, Alex Fielding thus I belong to him. Mystery Science Theater is property of Best Brains Inc. [Alex's Opening Note] Welcome again my friends, to the MSTing with a title that never ever stays the same...until now. Oh, and enjoy the bonus! [Lemon Warning] This fanfic contains material that would probably make the average reader sick to their stomach (but I'm immune! HA!). If you're easily offended by this (get over it, really) or happen to be under the legal age limit of your area, you probably shouldn't be reading this snuff. [Disclaimer] Alex Gordon, the PJ Fan is back, we all know what's coming don't we? But anyway, have some bonus material! Remember that anti-fic lemon? I bet you do! [Bonus Time! Break the car!] >Arekusu Ikari waited impatiently for his cohorts to return Ikari (Himself): Fucking cohorts. What the hell did I take Epic Leadership for?! >with good results, drumming his index finger on his polished oak desk. RJ: Such a sweet set-up you got there Alex. Ikari: Isn't it? >"Such fucking imcompetence." Growled Ikari out of anger Edgey: Alex? Anger? THAT is a new one there. Alex: Yeah, it....HEY! >and disgust. Good help was so hard to find these days. Must he always take matters into his >own capable hands? Chibi: He's not going to jerk off now is he? Edgey: *mock proudness* Nope! Only I can cronically masturbate! >Edgey had just finished fingering herself into orgasm when Arekusu burst out of his >massive office. Ikari: I must be trying to make up for something...oh wait, I'm not because I have a 16 foot long dick in this. Chibi: Must not...make Little Donny joke... >"Master Arekusu sir!" She cried in the aftermath of her orgasm as she hid her sticky >fingers from his sight as to not embarrass herself. RJ: Because fingering yourself in the work place is never embarrassing in itself. >He looked her way with a spark of interest in his eyes, his lips curling into a devilish girn. Edgey: Devir Arex Mishima! Ikari: Bad-ass! >"Ah...Edgey, just the woman I was looking for. I need you in my Ikari (Himself): Pants. RJ (Arekusu): Soup. Chibi (Arekusu): Camero. The backseat of course. Edgey (Arekusu): Dreams! >office for a moment." He said, turning on his heel to head back inside his office. Ikari: I have quite the sex drive. >She would have to do until Ms. Aurora and Mr. Magusaka returned. Perhaps then, he >could interest them in a foursome with the vixen he was about to fuck. Edgey: Vixen?! What the hell! Ikari: Foursome...? What the hell! You can hear the sound of tearing and suddenly the screen goes white. The camera turns toward Alex, who quick hides the pair of scissors he was holding. Alex: Get on with it! [Mama's little baby loves MSTs, MSTs!] In the way distant future, around Y3K, Arekusu Ikari and his pals, are all still stuck in space. Pursued by the nasty NESTs Cartel, just group of folks out to rule the world. In their secret bases below, they set their ambitions real high, Just to torture Arekusu and the other guuuuys! (Ikari: They...thought....WROOOOOOOONG!) (Krizalid singing) I'll send them crappy lemons, The worst I can possibly find! (la la la!) I'll make them sit and watch them all, To torture their weak little minds! (la la la!) (Normal Singers) Now keep in mind they can't control, When the fanfics begin or end, (la la la!) They'll try to keep their sanity, With the help of a few new friends (Survivor Roll Call!) Leon Kennedy! (What the hell have we got here?!) Jill Valentine! (On rye with a slice of cheese!) Billy Coen! (I'm the ultimate badass!) Rebecca Chaaaaaaambers! (Depend on me!) If you're wondering why the RE cast is here, And other science facts, (la la la!) Just repeat to yourself "Alex is taking a break! I should really just get over it." ...for THIS TITLE IS NEVER CONSTANT 3000!! (BWAAAAANG!) [Satellite of Dreams] Leon is sitting at the main console, looking bored out of his mind. After a few minutes trying not to nod off, the poor rookie cop falls forward, bashing his face against the console and hitting a big red button labeled 'Capture'. [Midwestern United States: A Forest Somewhere. Who cares? Not me.] Billy Coen is walking through the woods, having just said goodbye to Rebecca sometime ago when all of the sudden, a zombie jumps out from behind a tree. Zombie: WAAAAZZZZZZZZUUUUUUPPPP!! Billy screams in terror and runs back toward the cliff as a white light engulfs him and yanks him into space. [Spencer Estate: Attic] Jill swallowed hard as the gigantic serpent slithered closer to her, its venomous mouth so close that she could almost smell Richard's cologne. Just her luck to run out of ammo at a time like this. Before the snake could finish her off, Ms. Valentine is engulfed in light and vanishes. [Spencer Estate: Guardhouse] Rebecca Chambers threw herself to the side as a thick vine smashed into the wooden floor she'd just been standing in. As much as she wanted to help the struggling Alpha S.T.A.R.S. member, Chris, the current circumstances didn't leave the leisure of schedule changes open. Just as Plant 42 is about to swing at her again, Rebecca is swept up by the familiar light and vanishes. Chris, having seen this, voices his current thoughts. Chris: This definitely won't end well. And was promptly flung into a wall. [Satellite of Dreams] Rebecca, Billy and Jill have all gathered around the main console and are shouting at Leon, leaving the rookie cop very small gaps in which he can get a word in to defend himself. Just as he's about to strike back, the red light flashes. Leon: Wanda and Cosmo at calling. *hits the button* [Krizalid's Office] Kriz: Well weeeeeeell, what've we got here? More specimens for playtime? Delightful! [SoD] Leon: Is there a point to this call? I have guests to entertain. [KO] Kriz: And entertain them you shall! Prepare for...Resident Evil....OUTTAKES! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Action! *looks off camera at a figure in a long white jacket* ...What do you mean you don't want to write any? Slacker! ???: It means I don't want to write any right now. Kriz: Blah! Send them the lemon with your author powers! ???: How about you send it yourself with the power of manual labor? Kriz: Fuck you! ;_; ???: I'm sorry sir but you do not sexually excite me. Get to work. Krizalid reluctantly gets up and does as he's told. [SoD] Leon: Don't look now folks but it's time for....KILLLLLLLLLLLLL FRENZY! ???: Get it right! Leon: Er...LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMON SIGN! >Resident Evil: Code Veronica - The Ashford Family Leon: Whoever has a bad feeling, raise your hand. All: *raise hands* Billy: All in favor of skipping the disclaimer, raise your hand. All: *raise both hands* ???: Picky sonsabitches... >( I ) Billy: Looks like a walnut. Leon (Butthead): Huh huh...you said 'wal'... Billy (Beavis): Heh heh...then I said 'nut'... >"Damn them!" swore Alfred Ashford as he made his way to the chamber where his sister Alexia >was held, his hand clutching his All: Ewww... >bullet wound. All: Whew... >He quickly typed in the command to open Alexia's tank, as soon as he rushed into the room. >Alexia's nude, comatose body was Rebecca: Dropped several feet until she bounced off the cement floor and shattered her spine. *notices everyone look at her funny* What? >lowered to the floor as bluish liquid drained from her tank. Alfred quickly went to his >sister's side and Jill: Stabbed her in the ass! The naked whore! Leon: Nice choice of words there Jilly. Jill: Wha--*pauses* ...Bite me Leon. >picked her up and walked to the other side of the room. He gently lowered her body onto the >desk then sat by her side. Rebecca: Oh oh! He's just gonna give her therapy! Leon: I'd rather see Nemesis in therapy. Jill (Therapist): So Mr. Nemesis, what seems to be the problem today? Billy (Nemesis): S.T.A.R.S!!! Jill (Therapist): I see. What about these...stars? Billy (Nemesis): *sounding depressed* S.T.A.R.S... Jill (Therapist): Mr. Nemesis, I'm afraid you have an obsession with stars. Billy (Nemesis): *clearly offended* S.T.A.R.S! Jill (Therapist): Okay then. Look toward my prized painting there. What do you see? Billy (Nemesis): S.T.A.R.S!!! *makes smashing sounds followed by a gasp of realization* ...S.T.A.R.S! *sob* >"My beautiful sister, you can stop them." Said Alfred as he ra his hand down the side of >Alexia's face, letting the hand continue to travel down the side of her body until stopping at >her bare thigh. Leon (Alfred): *mimics shifty eyes* ...No one's looking... *takes a deep breath* Jill: Alfred than put his face to Alexia's boobs and... Leon (Alfred): *shakes his head like he's crazy* BLAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! BOOBIES! YAY! >Alfred looked down at Alexia's body and smiled as he remembered their past together, how close >they had been. Billy (Alfred): The stupid bitch was made a few seconds before me and everyone treats her like the greatest thing in the world! I hate you Alexia! Stupid bitch! DIE DIE DIE! >**** Billy (Nemesis): *sobs even harder* S.T.A.R.S! >Fifteen year old Alfred Ashford had just finished feeding Jill: Alexia's carnivorous crotch that was currently devouring another fanboy whole. All: Ewwwwwwwwwww. >his ants when his twin sister Alexia walked into the room. She smiled as she saw her brother >and walked towards him wrapping Rebecca: The noose around his neck. Then she tied the other end to his bed and kicked him out the window. >her arms around his waist. She leaned her head against his shoulder and breathed in the scent >of his hair. Billy: Inhaling swarms of dead flakes of skin. >She pressed her lips against the back of his neck, and kissed him before speaking. Leon: That kissing thing was kind of redundant. Billy: I dunno. You don't kiss when you just press your lips to something. If you did, a lot of people would be kissing their pillows. >"Playing with your pets again, brother?" asked Alexia as she rubbed her curvy body against her >brother's. "I don't play, these ants are part of our research." Said Alfred, moving away from >his sister. Jill: Far FAR away at that. >"I know, it is just fun to watch your reaction. You get so angry." Said Alexia with a giggle. >"Well if you think it is so funny you can leave!" said Alfred angrily, turning back to his >work. Leon: In fact, you can just leave anyway! And never come back! The end! *gets up but is promptly kicked back into his seat by a shadowy figure* ???: Sit the fuck down. >Alexia pouted cutely and moved in front of her brother. She ran her right hand down his chest >and then hugged him. "I'm sorry, but we can still play can't we?" asked Alexia as she drew her >brother into a hungry kiss. Billy: Because Hot Wheels and action figures stroked Alexia juuuuuust the right way. Ooooooooh yeah. Leon: *crosses his fingers* Come on Alexia! Eat his face! >Alfred returned the kiss with equal hunger. He and his sister had always been close, but they >became even closer over the past weeks. Alfred had thought that he should stop doing this, but >couldn't stop Jill: And listen to the voice of reason and common sense in his head. >as he felt his sister's body against his own. Alfred ran his hands down his sister's sides as >he pushed his tongue into her moist mouth. He squeezed his sister's tight ass as he kissed her >even harder, pressing her body against the ant's tank. Rebecca: Unfortunately, the tank was made of extremely fragile glass and the ants escaped, ate Alexia's brain and used her body to take over the world as well as a nesting ground! Jill: Rebecca. Ewww...just...eww. >Alfred brought his hands up to his sister's developing breasts and caressed them, pinching her >erect nipples. Alexia ran her hands down her brother's chest, rubbing his thin frame. Alfred >pulled the straps of Alexia's dress from her shoulders, exposing her milky, Leon: Ye gods! Alexia is really a humanoid cow! Billy: Got Alexia? >white flesh. Alexia let the rest of the dress fall from her body. Alexia reached behind her >back and unhooked her lacy, red bra, letting it fall to the floor. Jill: Killing millions. Story at eleven. >Alfred leaned forward and licked across Alexia's smooth tit flesh. Leon: When will lemon authors figure out that flesh is still flesh regardless of where it is? Just because I have a penis doesn't make it penis flesh. It's all Leon flesh! >He licked at her small, pink nipples causing Alexia to gasp with pleasure. Rebecca: As we groan with disdain. >"Why don't you take some clothes off?" Said Alexia moving away from Alfred, and sitting on the >tiled floor. Billy: With complete disregard to the fact that this is damn near the South Pole and thus, her ass was forever frozen to that tile. >Alfred removed his clothing one article at a time, then moved to the floor next to his sister. >Alexia slipped her red, silk panties off and spread her legs invitingly to Alfred. Rebecca: But quickly shut them when he got close! Billy and Leon: DENIED! Jill: REJECTED! >Alfred licked his lips before descending onto his sister's moist pussy. He licked at her inner >thighs before running his tongue up Alexia's slit. Alexia moaned with pleasure as Alfred >slurped on her juicy cunt. ???: Shall I turn the sound effects on higher? All: NO! >Alfred pulled the petals of his sister's labia apart and then shoved his tongue deep into her. Jill: Then promptly sucked her brain right out. >He pinched at Alexia's love button Jill and Rebecca: What? Leon: He pinched her love bu-- Jill and Rebecca: WE KNOW! But what the hell IS a love button?! Billy: A button you pinch to get love. >before licking at it, nibbling it a bit. Alexia moaned loudly as she came, her juices flooding >into Alfred's mouth. Alexia smiled as she rose from the ground. Billy: Her ass pulling up the tiles she was sitting on too. >She pushed her brother against the floor and bent down to his crotch. Leon: Snapping her back in for places as she did. >Alexia licked the tip of Alfred's cock before taking the head into her mouth a sucking >lightly. Rebecca: And seeing as how Alfred's skull was a few sizes too large, his brain got sucked right out without a problem. >Alfred groaned as his sister sucked at his pole. Alexia descended farther taking more of her >brother's cock into her mouth. Jill: That poor rooster. >Alexia ran her mouth over the entire length, while licking the underside lightly. Alexia >released Alfred's cock from her mouth and licked down the side until she reached his balls. Leon: This fanfic is brought to you by VOID. Try our balls. They're the biggest and the best! >She took one into her mouth and sucked on the orb before licking it with her tongue. She moved >herself back up to Alfred's erect cock, and took it back into her mouth. She only had to suck >for a few more moments before Alfred groaned loudly and fired his cum into Alexia's mouth. Billy: *hopefully* Killing her instantly. ???: Sorry, but no. >Alexia swallowed her brother's cum in one gulp and licked his cock back into hardness. Without >a word she rose and took her brother's cock into her hand. She descended upon it with her full >weight driving Alfred's cock far into her pussy. Rebecca: Unfortunately, the floor was weak there so they fell into the basement, landing right in the middle of a group of workers. Leon (Worker): Blackmail! *pretends to take a picture* >Sweat gleamed on Alexia's flesh as she humped against her brother's crotch. Alfred groaned in >pleasure as he pushed deeply into his sister. The Ashford twins both humped faster and faster Jill: o/~ Work it harder, make it better, do it faster, makes us stronger! o/~ Rebecca: Ah yes, Daft Punk. The only band who could pull off a song that has lyrics similar to a word puzzle. >at their immanent release. Alfred thrust one last time before groaning, as he spewed hot cum >into his sister. Alexia moaned in pleasure as she had an orgasm of her own. Leon: And she spewed her hot cum back into Alfred. Rebecca (Alexia): Doesn't feel so good on the business end now does it?! >"I love you, brother." Said Alexia, as she hugged Alfred. >"I love you, too, dear sister." Said Alfred as he pulled his sister close and went to sleep. Rebecca: I love you Billy. Billy: I love you too Rebecca. Leon: I love you Jill. Jill: I love you too Leonardo DiCaprio...er...Leon... >( II ) Leon: Oh oh! It's a pair of binoculars! Billy: No way! It's a bird's eye view of a parachute!  >Alfred's smile at the past left as he realized that his own death would arrive shortly. Billy: But not before he could get in a quickie with his bitch of a sister! Leon (Alfred): I may be dying...but I won't die with a raging boner! >He removed his blood soaked clothing, and leaned over to kiss his sister on the mouth. He >pushed his erection into his sister's puffy lipped cunt, Jill: Man, I can't count the number of times I was put into suspended animation and I came out all horny and puffy-lipped. Rebecca: I know! Doesn't it totally suck? Leon: You two have never experienced morning wood. Now THAT sucks. Billy: Hell yeah. It's like waking up with a frozen sausage for a crotch. >groaning with pleasure at the contact. The blood from his bullet wound soaked into his >sister's pale flesh, as he continued to pump into her. Rebecca: Okay. That's just nasty. I mean...really. Ew. Just...ew. >Alexia moaned softly as she slowly awakened and looked into her brother's eyes. >"Brother, you're here!" Said Alexia happily. >"I love you." Said Alfred as he orgasmed and fell limply against Alexia. Leon: It was just so disgustingly sick and wrong that he died. Billy (Chris Rock): Wipe yourself off, you're dead. Jill (Alexia): And my pussy will eat you alive! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! >Alexia reached up to feel for her brother's pulse. Finding none, she looked up at the nearby >computer screen. She sneered at the woman she saw in the screen. Rebecca (Alexia): Damn you heroine and studly sidekick! Damn you to Hell! >"It's her fault! She will not escape me! Billy: Wait...so let me get this straight. Alexia just decides that Claire and Steve are responsible for killing Alfred even though he was the one who started the whole thing in the first place? Leon: Yeah. Pretty much. Billy: Umbrella sure is full of a bunch of FUCKING NUTCASES. >I will avenge you brother. I promise." Said Alexia as she took her brother's head into her lap Rebecca: But her carnivorous pussy started munching on his scalp and eventually swallowed him whole, spitting out his bones. Billy: That sounds like a fatality straight out of Mortal Kombat XXX: Kitana's Fan Fetish or something. Leon: 'Fan fetish'? Those fans are made of metal and CUT like there's no tomorrow.. Billy: Another man's trash is another man's treasure. That's why it's called a fetish kid. Leon: Kid...? >and brushed her fingers through his hair, crying softly. >**** >END Billy: My favorite part. >**** >End Notes: Hope you enjoyed the story! It always seemed to me that the Ashford twins where >rather "close", so I wrote a story on the idea. 'Till next time! Leon: Which'll hopefully be NEVER. ???: End transmission. *snaps his fingers*
Perhaps that was the most important part. [Season One MSTings] Episode 001: Zelgadiss the Rapper - Prologue Episode 002: The Anime Laws Episode 003: Zelgadiss the Rapper - I need to be a hero Episode 004: Time Flies Episode 005: Zelgadiss the Rapper - You guys can sit in the back [Season Two MSTings] Episode 006: Little Boys with Bad Intent Episode 007: Pure Sex Episode 008: A Poker Game Episode 009: Ranma ½: Akane's Twin - Who Am I? Episode 010: Resident Evil: Code Veronica - Trapped In A Plane Episode 011: Resident Evil 3: Nemesis - Trapped In The Basement Episode 012: Untitled Resident Evil 2 Lemon [Season Three MSTings] Episode 013: Evil CS/OC/AWoW: Dark Fire Episode 014: FFT: Delita's Corruption Episode 015: Resident Evil - Trapped in a Mansion Episode 016: Resident Evil: Code Veronia - The Ashford Family [Phantasy Star Online Intruders] Episode 001: Kyle's Saga (Part 1): Meeting A New Allies... Episode 002: By the Lake Episode 001a: Kyle's Saga (Part 2): Meeting A New Allies... [Shameless Plug Alert] We worked it harder, made it better, did it faster and you want to know something? It made us stronger. Crowded Street, Advanced Incorporated http://www.boomspeed.com/kieran/