"Chaos control...give it a try. Chaos control...give it a try."

- Lyrics from Sonic Adventure 2, Sonic vs. Shadow

[Legal Crap]

I, Arekusu Ikari, am not an advanced Kyo clone.
Chibi-chan could actually be Nakoruru.
RJ Bachler is property of the United States or something.
Edgey...I'm not too sure about her.

[Lemon Warning]

This is a lemon and contains material not suited for younger viewers (or people with weak stomachs because it gets BAD) but if you happen to be a child prodigy or just don't care. Go ahead and read.

[Alex's Notes]

I mustn't run away...I mustn't run away...

[MSTing Goodness]

In the way distant future, around 4900,
There was some man called Krizalid
He was the big boss man, yes the head master.
He got sick of his enemies and one day he got pissed.
So he whooped all their asses then shot'em into space!


(Krizalid singing)
I'll send them crappy fanfics,
The worst I can possibly find! (la la la!)
I'll make them sit and watch them all,
To torture their over-paid minds! (la la la!)

(Normal Singers)
Now keep in mind they can't control,
When the fanfics begin or end, (la la la!)
They'll try to keep their sanity,
With the help of a few friends

(Ze roll call!)

Arekusu Ikaaaari! (Can you do it?)
Edgey! (Yes I can!)
Chibi-chaaaan! (Can I practice for a while?)
RJ Bachler! (Just relax and play!)

If you're wondering why Edgey is here,
And other science facts, (la la la!)
Just repeat to yourself "Turn about is fair play!
I should really just relax."


[Satellite of Dreams]

Alex runs onto the bridge, looking unhappy. Without a word, he hits a big red button with the words 'DO NOT PRESS' written on it. Alarms and sirens go off.

Alex: *flipping on the intercom* Attention crew members of the SoD, this is a code red alert. Repeat, this is a code red alert. Report to the bridge. I repeat, report to the bridge!

After a little waiting, Edgey, Chibi-chan and RJ rush onto the bridge.

RJ: What the hell did you call us here for? I was beating Chibi in Street Fighter!
Chibi: Only because I was letting you!
Edgey: I was just getting to the part where Rei, Asuka and Shinji...uh..
Alex: I got a piece of mail today that none of you are going to like. To the theater!

[Door Sequence and Seating Chart (L-R): Alex, Chibi, Edgey and RJ]

Subj: Your death sentence Mr. Ikari

Alex: Oh hey. That's so nice that I just may puke.
RJ: Getting into it early today eh? *Alex casually flips off RJ*

>Date: 9/16/01 8:35:17 AM Central Daylight Time

Chibi: You got up at 8:30 for _THIS_?!
Alex: It sure as hell woke me up. Gotta give it some credit for that.

>From: borganrules@yahoo.com (Borgan Lover)

All: That's just not right.

>To: ZelgadisXeal@aol.com

>As I promised, my greatest anti-fanfic is complete and soon you'll know

Edgey: The seven reasons why spam is better than ham!

>the pain and suffering of those you've cut down with your pathetic
>cynical humor, dry wit and sarcasm.

RJ: Arekusu Ikari IS Ryudo! *Alex spikes up his hair so it looks like Ryudo's*

>You and your band of brainless companions and two-bit whores

Chibi: Hey! We're not brainless!
RJ: *interested* Two-bit whores? Care to share the wealth Alex? *Alex flips him off again* Hey! I'm just asking!
Alex: Dude, if I had whores, you'd be the first to know 'cause I'd brag about getting laid one way or another.

>have the nerve to insult authors such as PJ, Alex Gordon and Nudemon's
>great writing talent

Edgey: We'll start off with a little bit of zombie-lovin' followed up by some sex with the Tyrant and go onto the main course of getting raped by a Pikachu. Sounds three authors are gonna make it big soon!

>and for that, you all must be put in your place.

RJ: We'd better get out of here then and go back to our place. *everyone gets up and tries to leave, only to find the doors sealed shut*

>Now is the time that you all will repent for your sins through this.
>I'll be going through all your friends according to those who you're
>closest to or just random order.

Chibi: Damn anti-fanfic authors have no sense of tidy-ness! They don't even organize their attacks!
Alex: This coming from someone who organizes chaos. *WHAM!*

>I challenge you here and now Arekusu Ikari.

Alex: *a bit of fire appears on his fingertip* You should mess with fire or else you'll get...*blows the fire away* Moetaro.
Edgey: You could've just said that someone'll get burned instead of saying it in Japanese.

>I'll bet you won't MST this out of shame of what you've done. Enjoy your
>torment and remember it for the rest of your life.

RJ: Sounds like a story he could tell his grandkids I'm sure.

>- Borgan's Number 1 Fan

All: *GASP!* A Borgan Fan?!

>Evil CS/OC/AWoW - Part One: Dark Fire

>An large office. Crude paintings of nude women and scenes of war posted
>all over the office.

RJ: I like the office already! *WHACK!*

>The most notable feature was a large desk placed in the middle of the room.

Edgey: Because this desk loved being the center attention so what better way to do it than put itself right in the MIDDLE of the room.

>A young man sat behind thr large oak desk in a big chair lined with velvet,
>dark colored bangs covering the angry expression on his face as another man
>with pointy hair rambled on and on about something he didn't care about.

Alex (Trowa): ...and every Thursday should be donut day followed by Yuri Day on Friday.
Chibi (Yang): What do you mean no more sex with Valkyrie on the main page?!
Edgey (Arekusu): You're scaring people away from the site.

>"Yang." The man behind the desk breathed.

RJ: A hard task for someone such as Alex. *Alex hits him for his comment*

>"Yes, sir?" Yang responded, lifting his head to look at his employer.

Chibi and Edgey: *perk up* Yaoi?

>His jet black hair had covered most of his dark skin and his light blue
>eyes, just as the white jacket and headband he wore did.

RJ: When did you get the headband? *Alex shrugs and tugs at it*
Alex: It's on too tight.

>A black t-shirt covered his body, not to mention the pair of indigo jeans
>he was wearing, which Yang wasn't about to see.

Alex: Damn straight! If you're a guy and you work for me, your ass is grass if I catch any ogling! I'm strictly for female use only and just because you get a sex change, doesn't make it dandy in my book! *gasps for breath*
RJ: Feeling better? *pats Alex's back*

>"Why are you still here? I asked you to find Rini's location and all
>you've done is rambled and otherwise wasted my time. What's your excuse?"

Edgey (Yang): The sock monkey made me do it.

>Asked the man, looking up to peer through the dark strands of hair, eyes
>trained on Yang, who'd began to tremble and back toward the door slowly,
>totally ignoring the loud noises coming from the desk of Arekusu Ikari.

Chibi: It's like Snoopy's dog house! Outer appearances are tricky things aren't they?
Alex: I think Scooby-Doo had a mega-big dog house too.

>"I...I assure you that Yun and I are trying our hardest to find her, moreso


>than that fool Rudy. Give us some more time and we'll bring her back sir.
>I promise!" Yang stammered, halfway out the door.

RJ (Arekusu): Just GO Yang.

>"Good. If that's the case, then get the hell out of my sight or I'll burn
>you alive!" Arekusu shouted, raising one fist which was now engulfed by
>gray colored flames. In an instant, Yang was gone, large glass doors

Alex: Falling onto Arekusu and crushing him. Blood staining the glass.
Chibi: Someone is snapping real fast today.

>slammed behind him. Arekusu Ikari grinned, looking down at the blue haired
>girl bobbing her head up and down his long thick shaft.

Edgey: He's got the Gendo Ikari thing going there.
Alex: Except it wouldn't be Ritsuko. It would be Rei. *drools* Ayanami-chan...

>With a loud grunt of pleasure, Arekusu felt his cock throb, shooting load
>after load of his manjuices into the girl's mouth, delighted by the audible

RJ: Gagging sounds that shortly followed. The girl choked and died. The end.

>swallow sounds she made. This continued until his orgasm died down, the
>girl's stomach slightly plump, filled with Ikari's white sticky genetic

Chibi: *brow raising* 'Genetic material'? That's a new one. I mean...is this Biology or something?

>Nowhere near being spent, he grabbed the girl's wrist and pulled her

Edgey: Arm off and she bled to death. The end. *the lights flicker at the dark comments*

>out from under his desk, gazing over her naked body slowly. She looked as
>old as him despite her small tits, both nipples turning to pointy pink nubs
>of flesh and her shaved cunt dripping with eagerness as she looked down on
>the awaiting, twitching phallus, slick with her saliva.

RJ: Grrrreasy!
Chibi: I almost tossed my cookies there RJ. *shudders*

>"Ah...my little sister Kula. Thank you for pleasing your elder brother.
>Now it is my turn to please you."

Chibi (Arekusu): I'm sending you to Disney Land!
Edgey (Kula): HURRAY!

>Arekusu laughed and with one fluid motion, turned Kula around and slammed
>her down onto his thick twelve inch cock, burying it deep within the
>puckered ring of her anus.

*everyone moves away from Alex, who blinks and looks at them funny*

Alex: What?

>Squealing with pleasure, Kula began to bounce herself on the dark meat,

Alex: Which isn't related to the Dark Chowder found in Suikoden 2.

>moaning her brother's name in pleasure. Arekusu reached around and grabbed
>Kula's tiny boobs, pinching the nipples with his thumb and forefigure,

RJ: Would that be the figure in front of her or what? *everyone but RJ groans* It wasn't THAT bad.

>causing Kula to cry in pain. Hearing this only served to arouse Arekusu as
>his dick's size changed, now sixteen inches long and three and a half
>inches wide, stretching Kula's ass to the limit.

Alex (Tom Servo): I'm HUGE! *normal* Literally! It also doubles as a crude weapon.

>A tightness of his younger sister's ass was almost too much for him to take
>and soon, Arekusu came again, unloading wads of his sperm into Kula's
>rectum, causing her stomach's size to increase again.

Edgey: And Arekusu's hydration level goes down 10%.

>Squirming with pleasure, she pulled herself off his penis with a sloppy
>slurping pop sound and turned to face Arekusu.

Chibi: And she slapped him. As hard as humanly possible. *Alex suddenly flies out of his seat, holding his cheek*
Alex: Ow! What the hell was that?! *looks around frantically*
Chibi: Your ESP powers are coming back at you.

>"Enough teasing me brother!

Edgey: My god! He's become Alfred Ashford! *Alex tries to laugh in a high pitch and ends up coughing for a while*

>I must have you in me now! Fill me to the rim with your brotherly love!"
>Kula shouted, falling back onto her brother's desk and lifting and
>spreading her legs.

Alex: And then Arekusu slapped her forehead with his dick and dubbed her Queen Lady Gwen of the land of unpleasant lemons. *WHAM!*

>Arekusu wasted no time and slammed his cock into his sister yet again,
>pumping in and out wildly as he held her down against the thick wood.

RJ (Butt-head): It said 'thick'. Huh huh huh...
Alex (Beavis): Yeah! Heh heh! And then it said 'wood'...*both of them start laughing like maniacs*

>Igniting one of his fingers, Arekusu moved his hand down to Kula's clit and
>run his fiery finger over it, making the girl nearly climax then are there.

RJ: As she burned alive that is.

>After several minutes of pounding into his sister, Arekusu finally came
>again, holding Kula down as he emptied the last of his genetic makeup

Chibi: *snicker* 'Genetic makeup'? What the hell is this? A fashion shop?
Edgey: 'Genetic make-up'...new from Cover Girl.

>into her, filling her last orifice to the max with his brotherly love. If
>anyone saw Kula now, they'd assume she was pregnant with triplets.

Alex: *angry* Deformed triplets made using a bit too much fluids from her BROTHER. B-R-O-T-H-E-R! As in, sibling! Not lover! Brother! Brother! BROTHER!

>"Thank you brother! I loved every minute out of it!"

*Alex sighs and falls back into his seat*

Alex: Forget it. Just...forget it.

>"If that's the case, you missed a few spots." Arekusu joked,

RJ (Arekusu): Break out your mop and clean it up!

>pointing his at his drenched still-hard cock

Edgey: Huh? Why does he have a statue of a rooster that's wet?

>and wet splatters on his desk and Kula quickly went to work removing them,

RJ: First person to make a comment about the Army and those Swifter Sweeper things, gets killed. *notes everyone's glares* Or not..

>eager to get back to wrapping her cold mouth around her brother's dick.
>Outside his office, Edgey sat at her desk, one hand down south as she
>wished Arekusu would call her into his office more offten.

Alex: *points at Edgey* Ha! I knew it! You want me! Admit it!
Edgey: Hey! I don't WANT any part of you! How the hell did I become your secretary?!

>Meanwhile, several rooms away...

Chibi: In stately Wayne manor...

"Oh god RJ! Keep going!" A girl screamed in pleasure,

RJ: Hey! I'm getting some! Sweet!
Alex: *under his breath* Finally.

>three unique features on her body twitching with excitement. The first two
>were her ears, not just any ears mind you, they were the ears of none other
>than a Raichu right along with her tail, now curled around her lover's
>waist and he continued to thrust into her.

Chibi: What?! Why do I end up with RJ?!
RJ: Hey! What's wrong with sex with me?
Alex: *cough* Where should I start? *RJ grumbles*

>The one called RJ, clad in a gray shirt with the world ARMY written on the
>front in black and a pair of camouflage pants, the front of them unzipped.

Edgey (RJ): Booya! Being all I can be!
Alex: *quietly* Being all he can be inside Chibi anyway... *WHAM!*

>Hands cupping her breasts, RJ kept on assaulting her with pleasure,

Alex: *grinning at RJ and Chibi* A full frontal attack eh RJ? *WA-TAKWHACK!*

>making her cry out and shake her head frantically, causing her dark hair to
>fly from side to side. It didn't last much longer as RJ came inside her,
>flipping the girl over

RJ: So I just flipped her over like a burger on the grill? I've got talent!

>to kiss her, running a hand down her cheek.

Edgey: Then she slapped him and kicked him in the nuts as hard as possible! *Alex suddenly flinches and rubs his temple while RJ's head jerks to the side and he curls up, holding himself*
RJ: *whimpering* ...ouch...
Alex: My head hurts..

>"A screamer as usual eh Chibi?" He joked, only to be rewarded with a
>somewhat hard slap for the hint of sarcasm that crept into his voice.

*Alex grabs the sides of his head and RJ flinches*

RJ: Turn your damn ESP off Alex!

>"Okay okay! Sorry. But hey, we'd better go report to Alex or he might get
>mad and you know how he acts then..." Chibi-chan shuddered at the memory.

Chibi (Herself): Alex...sitting on the porch...in daisy dukes...and a wife-beater...horrors...

>Last time Alex had been mad, he'd raped several of his female employees
>with enough force to knock them comatose for a few days.

Alex: I must come in various models. Like cars do. With power windows, locks and all that only I come with power raping! *monotone* Woo-fucking-hoo.
Edgey: You're gonna need some Advil or something when we get outta here.

>With speed they didn't know they had, RJ and Chibi dressed and ran for the
>largest office on the top floor of the building...

Edgey: But instead of going for the glass doors, they ran right into the windows and fell to their deaths. The end.
Alex: *weakly* Take...five everyone.

[Reverse Door Sequence]

Edgey shakes her head and looks out at empty space, deep in thought.

Edgey: I got a feeling that this is going to get worse.

RJ and Chibi-chan are sitting in the kitchen, poking at their food.

RJ: ........
Chibi: ........

Alex is lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling vacantly. He exhales and shuts his eyes a bit.

Alex: An unfamiliar ceiling...*fade to black*

Perhaps that was the most important part.

[Season One MSTings]

Episode 001: Zelgadiss the Rapper - Prologue
Episode 002: The Anime Laws
Episode 003: Zelgadiss the Rapper - I need to be a hero
Episode 004: Time Flies
Episode 005: Zelgadiss the Rapper - You guys can sit in the back

[Season Two MSTings]

Episode 006: Little Boys with Bad Intent
Episode 007: Pure Sex
Episode 008: A Poker Game
Episode 009: Ranma : Akane's Twin - Who Am I?
Episode 010: Resident Evil: Code Veronica - Trapped In A Plane
Episode 011: Resident Evil 3: Nemesis - Trapped In The Basement
Episode 012: Untitled Resident Evil 2 Lemon

[Season Three MSTings]

Episode 013: Evil CS/OC/AWoW: Dark Fire

[Phantasy Star Online Intruders]

Episode 001: Kyle's Saga (Part 1): Meeting A New Allies...
Episode 002: By the Lake
Episode 001a: Kyle's Saga (Part 2): Meeting A New Allies...

[Shameless Plug Alert]

Pop goes the 17th's angel's head!

Crowded Street