"The mark of my dignity shall scar thy DNA..."

- Gill 'Glowing Thong', Street Fighter III: 3rd Strike

[Legal Crap]

Mystery Science Theater 3000 & the related characters are owned and copyrighted by Best Brains Inc.
I, Arekusu Ikari, am property of myself.
Edgey is the queen of herself. Bow. NOW.
Chibi-chan is blinding me with cuteness. Ph34r.
RJ Bachler don't give a damn.


You can still contact me at ZelgadisXeal@aol.com.


This is not an attack or attempt to make the author look bad. It's all in good clean fun. Oh yeah... Resident Evil: Code Veronica: Trapped In A Plane is Alex Gordon's work so he's quite welcome to keep it. All rights reserved n' stuff. Just don't sue me okay? Anyway, off you go peons!

[Alex's Opening Note]

Sleeping late is killing me. Bleeeeh.

[MSTing for Soul]

In the way distant future, around 4900,
There was some man called Krizalid
He was the big boss man, yes the head master.
He got sick of his enemies and one day he got pissed.
So he whooped all their asses then shot'em into space!


(Krizalid singing)
I'll send them crappy fanfics,
The worst I can possibly find! (la la la!)
I'll make them sit and watch them all,
To torture their over-paid minds! (la la la!)

(Normal Singers)
Now keep in mind they can't control,
When the fanfics begin or end, (la la la!)
They'll try to keep their sanity,
With the help of a few friends

(Ze roll call!)

Arekusu Ikaaaari! (I came willingly!)
Edgey! (I'm supposed to be the torture person here!)
Chibi-chaaaan! (EXTREME CUTENESS!)
RJ Bachler! (All I can be!)

If you're wondering why Edgey is here,
And other science facts, (la la la!)
Just repeat to yourself "Turn about is fair play!
I should really just relax."


[Satellite of Dreams]

Four people are passed out on the floor, empty bottles of wine, beer and other alcoholic substances lay all around them. The Drunken Brothers were not here though. Two of them are male and the other two female, on cue, one of the female's rolls onto his stomach and gets up. When looking closely, you'd think she looks like K's sister, Whip with longer hair.

Whip Girl: Ugh...damn my head hurts...

She looks around and shakes one of the guys who looks like Kyo Kusanagi with a new hairstyle. He sits up and groans.

Kyo Boy: Argh...my head...
Whip Girl: My thoughts exactly Ikari. Where are we anyway?
'Ikari': Read the sign right there Edgey...*points to a sign reading 'Satellite of Dreams'*
Edgey: Oh...maybe we should wake up your friends?
'Ikari': Maybe...

After several minutes of shaking with a few splashes of cold water. The other two people were woken up. The other girl looks like Blue Mary as brunette with Raichu ears and a tail. The other guy, looks like Ryo Sakazaki as a brunette and green gi.

Ryo Guy: Dammit Arekusu! Now I'm all wet!
Blue Mary Girl: Now my tube top'll shrink!
Arekusu: You'll live. A little water never hurt RJ Bachler or Chibi-chan before now did it?
RJ: No...but still!
Chibi: Yeah!
Edgey: So uh...how'd we get here?
Arekusu: *glances around at the empty bottles* Annual MSTer's Union + Alcohol = Stuck in Space.
RJ, Edgey and Chibi: Ooooh...
Voice: Hahahaha! Welcome old and new lab rats!
All: Eh?! *Krizalid appears on a screen in front of them*
Edgey: *makes a fist* Krizalid!

[Krizalid's Office]

Krizalid: Yes! ME! Welcome to your new home where you get to experience pain and misery for many a day! For you shall be reading bad fanfics until you go insane! Hahahaha!


Edgey: No! This isn't fair! I'm supposed to be doing the brain breaking!


Krizalid: 'Fraid not Edgey. Your own henchmen are celebrating already! *a monitor turns itself on to reveal Yamazaki, Zato and Venom dancing around a keg of beer*


Edgey: Why those dirty sons of...
Arekusu: Cool it Edgey.
Chibi: You're doing exactly what he wants.
Edgey: Grr...


Krizalid: Oh well. Too bad. Your piece of lovely goodness today is 'Resident Evil: Code Veronica -Trapped In A Plane'. Have fun!


Lights flash and sirens suddenly go off every where.

RJ: My god! We've got fanfic sign!!

~{Door Sequence]~

{Seating Chart L to R: Arekusu, Edgey, Chibi and RJ}

>Resident Evil: Code Veronica: Trapped on a Plane

Arekusu: Edgey would rather have her boyfriend trapped in her.
Edgey: Yeah...HEY!!

>By: Alex Gordon
>E-mail: crow_t_robot69@hotmail.com

RJ: If Crow did write this...I'm not surprised.
Everyone else: Amen.

>URL: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/stories/index.html
>Note: This is the start of a few short stories on Resident

Edgey: *coughJIGALOcoughcough*

>Evil that I am doing. I am also starting a Resident Evil
>series that will be out soon. I also dedicate this story to
>PJ who inspired me with his Resident Evil works. I also tried

Chibi: *screams* A PJ FANBOY! THERE IS NO GOD!
Arekusu: I could've told you that myself..

>to emulate PJ's writing, but I doubt it's as good as his.
>Well on with the story!

>( I )

RJ: Look! Full moon tonight! *rimshot*
Arekusu: *claps* First ass joke in one of my MSTings...I think. *the fourth wall crashes*

>Claire Redfield let out a sigh of relief as she leaned
>against the wall of the plane that was taking her away from

Chibi: Necrophilic tendencies...zombies...vampires..
Arekusu: HEY! Leave the vampies out of this!

>the hell that was the Ashford's prison island. She looked to >her write to see that her escape partner, Steve Burnside, had

Edgey: Been playing pocket pool the whole time instead of steering the plane and they crashed and died. The end.
Arekusu: Dark much?
Edgey: You know it babe.

>already fallen asleep. Claire brought her hand to her face to
>rub her sore eyes. She suddenly realized that she had not

Arekusu: Shot herself. So she did and was spared from this lemon.
All: *monotone* Yay.

>gotten any sleep for hours and it was starting to wear her
>out. She then heard a scratching from the cargo bay. Claire

RJ: Shot the door for pissing her off.
Arekusu: PMS Season has come to call. *WHAMWA-TAK!*
Chibi and Edgey: What'd you say?!
Arekusu: Nothing... x_X

>raised her bowgun as she approached the door that led to the
>large cargo area. Just to be safe she also grabbed on of
>Steve's Uzi's and secured it to the back of her belt.

Chibi: Making them much harder to access anyway.

>Upon opening the door, Claire felt something large grab her
>leg and fling her to the far end of the cargo bay. Claire
>looked up to see a large Tyrant standing over her. She bought

Arekusu: Cheese?
Edgey: Sho in the buff?
Chibi: Doritos?
RJ: Pie?

>her bowgun up and fired a bolt into the Tyrant's large, gray
>neck. The Tyrant seemed unaffected as it knocked the bowgun
>from her grasp and pinned her to the ground. Claire looked up

Edgey: And saw the light.

>at the creature's eyes and was surprised to find the look of
>lust that shone in them. The creature quickly tore Claire's

Chibi: Please say the Tyrant is ripping off her head...please...please..


Chibi: Dammit!

>from her body. The creature then bent down and began to run
>it's long, black tongue over her nipples.

RJ: Isn't Black Tongue a sickness or something...*everyone shrugs*
Ragnarok's voice: I have the answer!
Arekusu: Share it then.
Ragnarok's voice: But I forgot that answer! =P
All: ....

>Despite Claire's eagerness to escape she began to become

Chibi: Totally pissed off.
Edgey and Chibi: *chant* Girl power girl power! A curse to all men!

>aroused from the Tyrant's ministrations. The Tyrant then
>brought a large finger down to shove into Claire's tight

Arekusu: Please say ear canal...or nostril...


Arekusu: Dammit!

>The creature began thrusting the finger in and out of

Arekusu: Claire's nose until it could get its whole hand up there in order to pull her brain out so she could be turned to a mummy. The end.
Edgey: Who's dark now?

>Claire's moist cunt. Claire then began to moan loudly despite
>herself. Claire then felt herself cum. She looked up into
>the creature's face to see what it would do next.

RJ: *scribbles on the screen with a marker*
Chibi, Edgey and Arekusu: *reading the screen* 'You die now'..

>( II )

Arekusu: It's a Monomate!

>The creature didn't waste much time

Edgey: It KILLED time.

>placing its gray, erect cock at the entrance of Claire's
>dripping pussy.

Zyzyfer's voice: Poor Fat Cat Lim...we hardly knew ye...

>The creature quickly plunged itself into her moist snatch.

Chibi: First person who makes a *YOING!* comment dies.

>"No! Please stop!" screamed Claire as the creature thrust
>itself back and forth.

Arekusu (Tyrant): I did it all by myself! Mommy wow! I'm a big ugly fucker now!
RJ: Sarcastic much?
Arekusu: Not really.

>Claire's scream seemed to go unnoticed as the Tyrant

Chibi: Stabbed Claire over and over with it's huge deformed claw. Tearing through the girl in a spray of blood, gore and flesh.
Arekusu: And you were all saying?
Chibi: Can it Kyo-boy.
Sycia's voice: Kusanagi?! REEEEH!

>continued to fuck her. The Tyrant let out many loud moans as
>it continued to hump the attractive brunette.

Chibi: What?! Someone put me in a lemon?!
RJ: There's an idea...*writes something down*
Chibi: Why you...! *beats RJ senseless*

>Claire carefully reached behind her to where her loaded Uzi
>was hidden. She quickly brought the gun to the ready and


>fired the gun into the side of the Tyrant's face causing its
>left eye to burst in an explosion of gore.

Arekusu and Edgey: *suddenly drooling at the sight of the blood and gore* @_@ Pretty...

>Tyrant's cheek was torn away and its teeth were broken. The
>Tyrant let out a loud moan

Jake's voice (The Peeper): She moans...
Arekusu: Oooooh...
Jake's voice (TP): I moan...
Both: Heh heh heh..

>as it grasped its face in pain and stumbled backwards. Claire
>was quick to react to her freedom, she ran to the back of the >plane and hit the glowing red button she found there.

Edgey (In-game Text): Will you push the red button?
Chibi: *makes bleeping sounds*
Edgey (In-game Text): This door requires a key. Will you use the key?
Chibi: *makes more bleeping sounds*
Edgey (In-game Text): This key is useless now. Discard?
Chibi: *one last bleep*
Edgey (In-game Text): You have discarded the key.
RJ: That was random.

>Suddenly, a large box was propelled against the Tyrant
>flinging him from the plane.

Arekusu (Tyrant): EXTREME SKY DIVING!

>Claire let out a sigh of relief as she climbed back into her

RJ: But...
Chibi: *holds up her hand* Don't. It'll only hurt you head.

>She went back to the cockpit of the plane to find Steve still
>sleeping there. Claire, deciding that she finally felt VERY

Edgey: Homicidal.


Arekusu: Same difference to me.

>went next to Steve and laid next to him and went to sleep too
>exhausted to think of anything else.

>( III )

Arekusu: It's a Trimate!

>Steve awakened to the sound of light snoring next to him.
>Steve looked to his right and saw that Claire had dosed off.

Chibi: Overdosed that is.

>Steve started to stare at Claire and admire how beautiful she
>was. He then noticed that her clothing appeared to be torn
>and she looked very sweaty.

RJ (Steve): It must've been those damn raging hormones.

>He figured he didn't notice the tears before and it was
>pretty warm in the plane. He also noticed her torn shirt let
>him see a lot of cleavage.

Arekusu: Commence mating rituals.
Everyone else: .....?

>"She's asleep, she won't notice anything." Steve thought to
>himself as he moved closer to Claire.

RJ: Besides the fact that she'll have a kid in nine months, she won't notice.
Chibi: Steve goes scuba 'diving'...
Edgey: Scuba Steve!

>Steve then reached his hand forward and grasped one of
>Claire's firm tits. Steve enjoyed the feel of the breast as

Edgey: It suddenly detached and stuck to his face until he died from lack of air.

>he massaged it in his hand. Steve then pulled Claire's shirt
>off of her body and lowered his face to her left nipple to

RJ: Eat it.
Arekusu: Mmm...nipplicious...

>suck on it. He then lowered himself down her body, unzipping >her shorts and pulling them down. He then quickly removed her

Arekusu: Body parts. Right arm was connected to the...body bone. *makes tearing sounds*

>panties as well. Steve then began to run his tongue up and
>down Claire's moist slit. He then brought his hand to her

Arekusu: Throat. And promptly ripped it out.
Chibi: Okay. He's scaring me. Someone hit him. *Edgey clocks Arekusu with a baseball bat*
Arekusu: Me durr...*falls over*

>slit pushing a finger in. He then began to nibble at her
>clit. Claire moaned quietly in her sleep as Steve ate her

RJ: A meal fit for a king.

>Steve then got up and removed his pants to rub the tip of his
>cock against her slit.

Chibi: What did he do? Cut her open? Raise your hand if you're as confused at me. *everyone raises their hand (including Arekusu)*

>He then pushed in and began to thrust quickly back and forth.
>Claire began to moan more loudly, but still remained asleep.

Edgey: Claire then learned how to be a light sleeper instead to prevent further accidents.

>It didn't take Steve long to reach his climax, and he came
>inside Claire.

RJ (Steve): She won't notice. Not at all.

>Steve then quickly put Claire's clothes back on her body.
>Steve then gave her a quick kiss before returning to his seat
>next to Claire and went back to sleep.

Chibi: Too bad someone isn't controlling the plane. *RJ and Edgey make crashing sounds*


Edgey: Should we moon the screen?
Chibi: Nah.
RJ: *quietly* Damn...

>Well, that's all for now. I'll probably have more Resident

Arekusu: *weakly* Jigalo...

>Evil stories out soon, and I'll try to make them longer than
>this one.

Edgey: Please think that over.

>I'm currently trying out a bunch of different ideas right now
>so who knows when the next one will be out. I can always be

RJ: Reach by dialing 1-800-BAD-LEMON.

>reached at crow_t_robot69@hotmail.com or
>tom_servo70@hotmail.com I hope you enjoyed the story!

Chibi: News Flash! Best Brains Inc. sues lemon writer for using character names.
Edgey: Everyone clear out now. *Edgey picks up Arekusu and carries him out*
Arekusu: *fully recovered* Who's up for Strip Poker? *Edgey throws him out of the theater*

~[Reverse Door Sequence]~


Everyone is sitting around a table, cards in hand. No one is making a move. After a long while, Edgey's eyes shift to the left then right.

Edgey: Anybody got any fives?
Everyone but Edgey: No.
Edgey: Damn...*the red button flashes momentarily before Edgey hits it*


Krizalid: Yes! The lemon was so bad you're playing GO FISH! HAHAHAHA!


Arekusu: EH...not really. No one wanted to play Strip Poker so we settled for this.
Edgey: We're afraid you'd use our nakedness against us.
Arekusu: Eh, I'm not the blackmailing type...


Krizalid: Grrr! What will it take to get these people to snap! *throws a fit and hits the button while punching and kicking wildly*

Perhaps that was the most important part.

>"She's asleep, she won't notice anything." Steve thought

[Season One MSTings]

Episode 001: Zelgadiss the Rapper - Prologue
Episode 002: The Anime Laws
Episode 003: Zelgadiss the Rapper - I need to be a hero
Episode 004: Time Flies
Episode 005: Zelgadiss the Rapper - You guys can sit in the back

[Season Two MSTings]

Episode 006: Little Boys with Bad Intent
Episode 007: Pure Sex
Episode 008: A Poker Game
Episode 009: Ranma : Akane's Twin - Who Am I?
Episode 010: Resident Evil: Code Veronica - Trapped In A Plane

[Shameless Plug Alert]

It's finally happened...

Crowded Street