"HMMMM...." - Pesmerga, Genso Suikoden II

[Legal Stuff]

Mystery Science Theater 3000 & the related characters are owned and copyrighted by Best Brains Inc.
Flik, Viktor, McDohl, Gremio and all the other Genso Suikoden characters are property of Konami.
Final Fantasy and related characters are copyrighted by Squaresoft
All characters are property of their respective owners.
Please don't sue me.  I'm broooooke.  My wallet is just a withered ruin.

[Disclaimer]

"Time Flies" is owned by AKUSOKUZAN.  No offense or other bad stuff is meant by this MSTing.  No virgins were deflowered in the making of this 'fic (yeah right).  All bad lemons brought to you by people who have nothing better to do.

[Contact]

E-mail the freak that did this at Zelgadis Xeal@aol.com (AOHell!)  Now off ya go!

[MsTiNg FoR yOu]

*in tune to the Suikoden I battle music*

In the very distant world, a place made by Konami,
There was some fellas named Windy and Yuber
They were a couple of nutty people, the crazy duo
McDohl and Pesmerga put them in their place,
But they came back and shot'em into space!

(THE STEW!  THE STEW!)

(Windy and Yuber singing)
We'll send them crappy fanfics,
the crappiest we can find! (la la la!)
We'll make them sit and watch them all,
To torture their wussy little minds! (la la la!)

(Normal Singers)
Now keep in mind they can't control,
When the fanfics begin or end, (la la la!)
They'll try to keep their sanity,
With the help of a few friends

(The Stone Tablet of Promise!)

Pesmerga! (HMMM!)
Kasumi! (MATT-SAMA!)
McDohl! (Mooooo!)
Gremioooo! (SUPER STEW!)

If you're wondering how they eat and breath,
And other science facts, (la la la!)
Just repeat to yourself "It's not real! I should really just relax."

...for Genso Suikoden Theater 1080!! (BWAAAAANG!)

_____________________________________________________________


[Satellite of The Stew]

The camera pans to the bridge where Flik is watching space with interest.  After a while, Viktor walks up behind him, glancing at the screen then Flik and back to the screen again.  A couple more minutes pass and Viktor heads for McDohl's room to find the kid sitting on the floor playing Suikoden (the fourth wall is broken already).

McDohl: Gremio whines about the stew too much.
Viktor: Why are you playing the game you starred in?
McDohl: 'Cause it's fun.
Viktor: Uh...anyway, do you know what's wrong with Flik?  He's staring out into space.
McDohl: He played Perfect Dark too long as is now convinced that there's an alien named Elvis out there.
Viktor: Oh.  *the yellow button flashes* We'll be right back.

_____________________________________________________________

Announcer: Sick of everyone talking about Perfect Dark?  Well, then you'll love this product!  It's called a Life and all that's needed is your free time!  Get A Life now!

Actor 1: I got a life and now it's easy to get away from Perfect Dark!

Actor 2: It was so easy!

Announcer: Life now in stores.  Get yours today!

_____________________________________________________________


[Satellite of The Stew!]

Flik is still sitting at the bridge until Pesmerga walked by, stopped and walked back to Staring Blue Lightning Flik and decided to stare with him.  About five minutes later, half the cast of Suikoden was staring out the tiny window.

Pesmerga: HMM....
Gremio: Makes me want to make a really big stew..
Hiro (The hero of Suikoden II...we'll just keep it at Hiro): ........
Pesmerga: HMMM...
Luc: Duh.....space is big.
Flik: ....Odessa....*sobs*
Viktor: Somewhere...Daisy is waiting.
Star Dragon Sword: .....
Pesmerga: HMMMMM...
Futch: What're you 'Hmm'-ing about you freak?
Pesmerga: King Crimson does not like you Dragon Knight.  You're goin' down...
Futch: Shit!  Pesmerga has gone mental again!

Pesmerga starts chasing Futch around the satellite, waving King Crimson and whooping like a madman.

Flik: Why Leknaat?!  Why?!
Viktor: You can always go for Kasumi if McDohl doesn't mind...*the red button flashes*
Hiro: Seed and Culgan calling. *jabs the button with a tonfa*

[Neclord's Castle]

Yuber: .....I have more fashion sense and taste than Culgan.
Windy: Shut up and tell them what piece of hell they'll be seeing today!
Yuber: .....(Kiss my armor clad ass you old bitch..)..You'll be viewing a bad Final Fantasy 8 lemon called Time Flies.  Don't worry, it won't hurt....physically.
Windy: Hahahahaha!  Don't die too fast!  Hahaha....laugh with me Jocko..er..Yuber!
Yuber: Eeeee.....eeee....hehehehe..

[SoTS]

Flik: Waaaaaaah!
Kasumi: We got lemon sign!  C'mon McDohl!

Kasumi drags Gremio, McDohl and Pesmerga toward the theater.

[Door Sequence of Chigaeye]

Door 6: It's Secret of Evermore, you flee in terror!
Door 5: It's a picture of Kasumi, Pesmerga drags McDohl away from it.
Door 4: It's the STEW!  You eat up before moving on.
Door 3: It's a dragon.  You laugh at it and leave.
Door 2: It's a robe.  You open it and.....walk into the door behind it.
Door 1: Sliding patio door.

[Seating Chart: Kasumi, Pesmerga, Gremio and McDohl]

Pesmerga: Final Fantasy huh?  If it's final, how come there are so many?
All but Pesmerga: .........
Pesmerga: Was it that bad?
All but Pesmerga: Yes.
Pesmerga: You all suck...

>I am AKUSOKUZAN, a beginner age: 18 Sex:M

Kasumi: These were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect bad lemon writer.
McDohl: We're not supposed to insult the author!
Kasumi: Oops...

>Warning: This story contains all of the things that you >expected (Well, Duh! This is a lemon and it's in a lemon archive)

McDohl: Where the lemons are neatly stacked, awaiting their time to come..

>If you like my very first lemon just e-mail me at recca_04@yahoo.com if
>not then press close on your browser....Kutabare!!!!!

Gremio: What the hell?
Pesmerga: Quick!  Close it!
Kasumi: How?
Pesmerga: Who cares?  Close it!

>Well here it goes.

McDohl: Something bad..

>"Time flies"

Pesmerga: When you're reading bad lemons...
All: *weak laughter*

>When the whole thing was over at ultimecia's castle Irvine was very
>bothered because of his

Kasumi: Inner child?
McDohl: Urge to shoot Raijin?
Pesmerga: Huge ego?
Gremio: Small Japanese penis?

>kept feeling about  Selphie because they were

Pesmerga: Too mushy.

>apart for a long time since childhood so he

McDohl: Went for Quistis instead.

>made the right preparations to have Selphie by his side. Exhausted from all
>that hard work

McDohl: Bomp-chicka-bow-wow...
Gremio: Young master!

>he sat on the sofa and had seen that his room was so good that it was fit
>for lovers then he

Kasumi: Cut himself in two and the halves lived happily ever after.

>took a break bought a soda from the Balamb canteen while in the line he
>didn't realize that

McDohl: He was 'poking' the girl in front of him and...*trails off and his eyes glaze over*
Pesmerga: Are you okay McDohl?
Gremio: Kasumi, withdraw your hands from the young master's pants.
Kasumi: But...awww...*pouts and does as she's told*

>Selphie was behind him, he was thinking of how

Gremio: Many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Kasumi: I think there will be plenty of time to prove that in this lemon Gremio.
Pesmerga: I agree.

>he would say it then Selphie put his hands

McDohl: *retching* Holy sex change Batman!  She's a man!

>Near Irvine's eye and said: "Guess who!".

Kasumi: Not me!
Pesmerga: Then who?
Gremio: Could be me?
McDohl: Or could it be you?

>Then realizing that it was Selphie Irvine just stood

Gremio: At attention...
McDohl: I think I'm rubbing off on you Gremio.
Gremio: Much to my dismay young master.

>Still then Selphie said: "What's wrong?" "Can't guess?".
>Then Irvine responded: "Oh! It's you

Pesmerga [Captain]: IT'S YOU!!!
Kasumi [CATS]: HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN!!!  ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!!

>Selphie!". Then when they were about to converse Selphie's Girlfriends just
>called:" C'mon

McDohl [Girlfriends]: ....we've got an orgy to do!

>girl we have to go!". So she just waved to Irvine and ran to her friends!
>Then the original trio

Gremio: Hadji, Jonny and Jessie?
Pesmerga: Hiro, Jowy and Nanami?
Kasumi: Lina, Gourry and Zelgadis?
McDohl: Kasumi, Valeria and myself?  Rowr... *WHAM!*
Gremio: *discarding a mallet* Stop that young master..

>Squall, Zell, Quistis went beside him.

Pesmerga: They all took a piss beside him?

>"Why did you sit there like a dummy? Don't you like

Gremio [Zell]: Lesbians?

>Her?" Zell said. Then Quistis said:

Kasumi [Quistis]: Screw her!  Go out with me!

>"Be a man and say what you feel! If you want us to help we're here beside
>you!". Squall shook his head

McDohl [Squall]: Down boy!
Kasumi [Quistis]: Naughty dog!

>(Why don't they leave the guy in one piece!), "Let's go we have to buy
>those tickets for the

Gremio [Squall]: Massive mosh pit.

>concert or Rinoa will kill me for sure!" "Aren't you coming?" "Go ahead I
>have something to

Pesmerga [Irvine]: Screw.

>think about!" "Okay!" Then the trio left the

Kasumi: Fantastic Four, making it the Fantastic One.
McDohl: Enter the Terrific Trio.

>canteen. Then he thought of the things he had to do to make Selphie go with
>him. "How can I

Pesmerga [Irvine]: Become immortal?
Kasumi [Irvine]: Get Rinoa away from Squall?
McDohl [Irvine]: Sabotage the stew?
Gremio: *gasp!* Leave the stew be young master!
McDohl: But I only did that so Kasumi would sleep with me!
Pesmerga: She wanted you anyway.
 Kasumi: *having heard nothing* Want me to 'comfort' you after this McDohl?
McDohl: Yes please. ^_^

>make her come to my room without sounding like a pervert?" Stumped almost
>given up he just

Pesmerga: Walked up to her and asked her if she wanted to get lucky.

>walked towards the concert area. He saw that there were so many people that
>it was almost a family

All: Reunion....
Alex's voice: AAAAHHHHH!!  No family reunions!

>reunion of ants. He saw Seifer, Quistis, Squall, Rinoa, Zell, some seed
>members, and the

Kasumi: Hark!  Is that an orgy I see over yonder?

>Headmaster Cid. Cid asked Irvine "Are you going to see the concert? If
>you're going to, then you'd

Gremio [Cid]: Better start cleaning the dishes when it's your turn!

>better grab a ticket and fast!"  "Well if you say so!"
>Then suddenly he saw many people clear out of

McDohl: Rumpus room.
 Alex's voice: Playtime is offically over.

>the ticket booths. He wondered "What happened, people repellent!? Then he
>was shocked when he

Kasumi: Noticed that all the Playstation 2s were gone...
Pesmerga [Irvine]: Noooooooooooooooooooooo!

>saw what the sign said. "Oh! Man it's closed! Shit!"
>Then he came back to the entrance and told them:

McDohl [Irvine]: My name is Irvine Kinneas.  You killed my father, prepare to die.

>"It's okay go ahead and enjoy!" Then they entered the concert hall while
>waving the Seifer turned

Kasumi: To stone!
All: Yay!

>back and said: "Hey! While you're at it why don't you just talk to Selphie
>she's crying right over there

Pesmerga [Seifer]: She's crying because she got put in this horrible lemon.
 Kasumi [Selphie]: I love my hand but I love Irvine too!  WAAAAH!

>behind the concert hall because her friends ran out of tickets! Now don't
>go and do something else

McDohl [Seifer]: Besides women I mean...

>you playboy you!" "Don't worry I wont! (Jerkoff!)"

Gremio: I believe there will be plenty of that later..

>Then he approached slowly then surprised her the

Kasumi [Selphie]: Eek!  Put that away Irvine!

>same way. "Guess who? Oh! It's you Irvy! Wow!  You guess pretty well!  Why
>are you crying? Well we

McDohl: Is she talking to herself?
Gremio: That would mean she'd be having sex by herself.
Pesmerga [Selphie]: I'm in love with myself!

>ran out of tickets and I wanted them to enjoy so I volunteered to stay but
>it I was really looking

Gremio [Selphie]: .....for a girlfriend...er...boyfriend.
McDohl: Selphie Tilmitt comes out of the closest, next on Springer.....heh heh..Springer...BOING!

>forward to seeing that show! Well that makes the two of us! They remained
>quiet for a moment.
>"Selphie do you remember when we were at the Mason's Orphanage? Yes, I was
>very happy even if

Kasumi: Maybe she's talking to her hand?
Pesmerga: You know what that would mean...
McDohl: Bomp-chicka-bow-wow...
Gremio: Young master!

>the only guys that I had were you guys! Do you remember that time you
>wanted me to kiss you but I

Pesmerga [Selphie]: I'm sorry Irvine but I love my hand!

>was too shy to do it! Y'now Irvy why I wanted you to kiss me because at
>that time I heard a kiss from

Gremio [Selphie]: Your hand is extremely arousing.

>your loved one or special someone feels so good, so good that it's like you
>don't want that moment to

McDohl: Be ruined by a sorceress sending you off to the Garden.

>end! Well sort of! Irvy when we separated did you kiss anyone from Galbadia
>garden or even liked

Kasumi: Your own hand?

>someone there? No, as I've told Squall I was just playing cool waiting for
>you guys to come back......especially you!" Selphie blushed like a red as ros

McDohl: Who's Ros?

>as well as Irvine "I've been waiting for you to come

Gremio: Already?  Wow.  Irvine is a minute man.

>back although my memories of you guys was a bit blurry because of the GF's
>I felt that there was

Pesmerga [Selphie]: A part of my body that I loved.
Kasumi: Don't all of us love a certain part of ourselves?

>someone I have and had to remember someone special then I saw you inside
>the train and my

McDohl: Hand slapped me and reminded me who I really love.

>memories slid back slowly and the first memory that returned was yours!"
>Then he pulled out a hanky

Kasumi: To wipe away his tears from laughing so much.

>and gently clearing all the tears from her face. She was so red then she
>held Irvine's hands and said

McDohl [Selphie]: I have betrayed my hand for I love...my foot!

>"About that kiss...well do you want to?" Irvine asked Selphie too. Well, if
>you want to! Then Irvy was

Gremio: Is there someone else in there with them?
Kasumi: This is turning into a bad soap opera.

>surprised when: "Irvy... here is my answer!"
>Then she closed her eyes and puckered up. Irvine

Pesmerga: Took it upon himself to bring Zell in to do the dirty work.
 McDohl [Irvine]: Girls are icky!

>suddenly became very nervous. "Will I? Well I've been putting these of
>since we were little! Here it goes!" He softly landed his lips in Selphie's
>lips and

McDohl: Those lips landed about a foot away from the landing pad.

>he was surprised when Selphie put her arms around him and held him tight.
>After that she ridiculed him and said: "For someone who's been

Kasumi [Selphie]: Doing hentai things while staring at a picture of me...
Pesmerga [Selphie]: Now put that hand lotion away!

>putting off kissing your pretty good! You too!" Then when they started to
>kiss the second time Selphie

Gremio: Pulled out a dagger and stabbed him square in the heart, spilling blood everywhere as she pulled his heart out and took a bite out of it.
McDohl: Feeling dark?
Gremio: Quite dark young master.

>Put Irvine's arm in her buttocks but this time he didn't hesitate To make
>his move he caressed her butt vigorously

All: ........
Pesmerga: The ass is not amused.

>At that move Selphie body experienced a little bit of pleasure And moaned
>lightly: " uhhhmmm...Irvy! I really love you!

Kasumi [Selphie]: I care not what the hand says!

>Me too! Then after that Irvine felt Selphie's panties are getting Wetter
>every minute. "Whoa time out Selphie! I think we better

Pesmerga [Irvine]: Come up with another game plan.

>Then they headed back to Irvine's room to rest and snack a little. "Well
>we're here Selphie! Oh, Irvy your room is so cute

McDohl [Selphie]: With all those beer bottles, porn mags and posters of women in bikinis..

>They went to the kitchen to get a couple of sodas  Then when Irvine reached
>for the soda cans

Gremio: He decided to use the Spanish Fly...
Kasumi: Juuuuust for the hell of it.

>His face brushed against Selphie's bust He stared at it for a while then
>Selphie

Kasumi: Somehow broke her wonder bra, revealing that she was indeed....a MAN!

>Giggled and said: " What's the matter Irvy? Oh nothing!" he said. They sat
>on the sofa

McDohl: Which promptly ate them alive.

>And turned the TV on. Selphie lied down on  The sofa and leaned on Irvine's
>legs "Irvy do you like my breasts?" Then nervously Irvine answered:
>"They're beautiful"

Pesmerga: In that deformed sort of way.

>"Would you like to touch them?" Then Selphie unzipped her front.

Gremio: And out pooped Sailor Mercury...

>Bounced out the Pearly white chest of

Kasumi: Quistis?
Pesmerga: Rinoa?
Gremio: Leknaat?
McDohl: Kasumi? *WHAM!*
Gremio: Sorry young master but you had it coming..we all know you like Kasumi.

>Selphie. "Please check it if there is something Wrong with it!" Irvine was
>totally overwhelmed

McDohl: By how much was wrong with it.

>By Selphie's Innocence and responded by nodding.  He held it gently and
>rubbed her nipples with his thumb

Gremio: Until it broke off.
Kasumi [Selphie]: What was that?
Pesmerga [Irvine]: Nothing.

>Soft and moans came out of Selphie: "Ohhh! Irvy like that!  "May I
>Selphie?" She nodded and smiled and Irvine

Kasumi: Promptly ate her alive.

>Responded by smiling back at her then Selphie Closed her eyes. Irvine
>kissed her neck down to Her chest and licked her nipples. Selphie's Moans
>and cries became a little louder than usual "Ah! Ahhh!! Ummm!! Ahhh y-yes!!

McDohl: Selphie has to get that stutter fixed.

>When Irvine stopped a while he saw that she was Panting with arousal " More
>please Irvy more" Irvine then licked around the her breast and

Pesmerga: Accidentally swallowed it, leaving Selphie with only one breast.
Gremio [Irvine]: Mmm...boobilicious.

>He began sucking very hard. Selphie's Fluids came rushing and gushing while
>she Screamed with joy and delight. Her body never

Gremio: Wanted to participate in such a horrible lemon.

>Experienced such a feeling of stimulation. "Ah!! More please!! Harder!!
>Sooo g-good!!

Kasumi: She just had a taste of Gremio's stew.
Gremio: *beaming* My stew is great.

>She was getting wetter every minute Her cute nipples were now so hard. She
>held Her face and kissed her. She was so excited that

McDohl: She forgot she was a lesbian.

>She held on to Irvine so tight. She wanted more ecstasy So she slid her
>tongue inside his mouth. She was the one who controlled the action now.

McDohl: Bomp-chicka-bow-wow...
Gremio: *sigh* Young master...

>Her mouth and Irvine's tongues danced. When they separated Selphie asked
>Irvine for something.

Kasumi [Selphie]: Can my tongue lead now?

>"Could you please do my ummm..." Then Irvine said: "I would like to do that
>for you!" Then Selphie laid down straight and spread her legs! Irvine took
>off her drenched panties off and started licking her hips

Pesmerga [Irvine]: Mmmm...hips...

>Then he headed to her mound and licked it for awhile then He stuck his
>index inside her! She felt it and liked it so.

McDohl: His INDEX?  Wouldn't that HURT?!  You know...the corners and all?

>"Iiiiiiiyaaaaaaa! Irvyyyyyyyyy! M-make me come!" Irvine then stuck his
>finger slowly in and out of her!

Kasumi: Extreme finger action!

>Irvine became a little sweaty so he took off his hat, Jacket down to his
>birthday suit. Then when he was

Gremio: Surprised that he hadn't been wearing anything under his jacket and he had it open the whole time.

>About to stick it in, Selphie put his finger and sucked On it then she
>said: "Make it two Irvy, Make it two!"

Pesmerga: I think this turned into a Twix ad.
McDohl: Two for me.
Pesmerga: None for you.

>She giggled. "Then two it is my love!" He put his Index finger and his fore
>finger together and stuck it inside her! She screamed wildly because of the
>sensation that Irvine's Finger gave her "Aa! Aa! Aaaaaa!! S-so tight!"

Kasumi: Irvine has talking fingers?

>Irvine felt her hymen and thought that it's wonderful That Selphie is still
>a virgin after all these times.

Gremio: All WHAT times?

>Then he felt that Selphie's was so wet that her Fluids were flowing like
>there's no tomorrow.

McDohl: But there to be no tomorrow since Meteor was descending upon the world, threatening it's very existence.
Pesmerga: Wrong Final Fantasy.

>He kissed her and held her in his arms tightly "You're the best Selphie!"
>"I love you Irvy

Kasumi: Irvine must love his hand too...he loved it so much he named it Selphie.

>please make me yours!" Then he removed his birthday suit and Selphie saw
>his manhood.

Gremio: And all it's tissue and flesh as Irvine had torn the skin off his 'birthday suit'.

>"Hey that's big!" Then he stroked it gently "And so hard too!' Then Irvine
>grunted

Pesmerga: *gasp!* Irvine is into yaoi?!

>because of what she did. Then he asked if she up to it. "Are you ready!?"
>Then she pulled him

McDohl: Into the awaiting meat grinder.
Kasumi: One Polish sausage coming up! *the males cringe and cross their legs*
McDohl: Please don't joke about that Kasumi.

>and kissed him so intently "Please be gentle!" Then he aimed his organ at
>her womanhood

Gremio: And rapidly pulled the trigger, rendering that piece of her anatomy usable due to the number of bullet holes.

>Then he pushed it inside her. Normally a girl Would cry if she was
>devirginized but she was tougher than the ordinary girl when he popped her
>cherry she just grunted a little then she was

Pesmerga: Killed by the pain...
Kasumi: It didn't hurt that much when McDohl...
McDohl: Shhhhhh!!

>back to normal again. Surprisingly she didn't bleed. "Ah! Ah!" Grunted
>Irvine

McDohl: Friend of Commented Crono.

>due to the tightness of Selphie's womanhood. They were both set on a raging
>fire they

Kasumi: Knew they were just two shrimps on the barbie.

>felt that they were the only things on Earth Irvine was digging like a
>pneumatic drill

Gremio: Complete with steel bit.
Pesmerga: *makes drilling noises*

>Inside Selphie's wet and hot vagina.  Selphie's hands was scraping at his
>back

Pesmerga: Tearing flesh and skin away, causing Irvine to die of blood loss.

>At the same time she almost ripped the upholstery of the sofa from clinging
>to it. She was in heaven when the pain passed away as Irvine kept pushing
>his manhood to her limits. Irvine stopped then asked Selphie

McDohl [Irvine]: Do you like rice?
Pesmerga [Irvine]: Do you like cheese?
Kasumi [Irvine]: Do you like fruit?
Gremio [Irvine]: Do you like green eggs and ham?

>if she wanted to switch their position to a sitting position so that it was
>easy for the both to move around. Selphie felt that Irvine was a little
>exhausted from all that action.

McDohl: All WHAT action?

>"Irvy please relax!" Then she made an up and down action. Irvine was
>feeling his climax build up very fast as

Pesmerga: The construction workers drank Zel's coffee, leaving them hyper as hell.

>Selphie worked her way. "Selphie you're still tight and wet! Ahhhh, ah,
>ugh!!" Selphie's cream filled Irvine's

All: TWINKIE!!

>balls and hips. Then Irvine stood up and lifted Selphie and started digging
>real hard inside her hole.

Gremio [Irvine]: My metal detector has picked up something!

>She felt that she couldn't held the sensation much longer.  "Irvy please
>promise me that we'll be together! Y-yes! I promiiiiise!!!"

Kasumi: T'was all a dream for Selphie, who talked in her sleep.

>Then both came and Irvine fell on the sofa with Selphie on top of him.
>"Irvy did you mean all of that?"

McDohl [Irvine]: No.

>Irvine stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. "Yes my Selphie I mean it,
>no one will ever keep us apart!' Then he carried her to his bed. Selphie
>was so exhausted that he fell asleep.

Gremio: Totally unaware of the sex change and the fact that he suddenly became a ridge reamer.

>Irvine dressed her up and put a blanket on her. He dressed up, sat down the
>sofa and lighted a cigarette. He thought of  the things that happened in
>their childhood "Thank god that the chaos is over and me and my Selphie
>will never be bothered!"

Pesmerga: *makes knocking sounds*
McDohl [Irvine]: Damn!
   
>Then when the concert was over Cid separated from them because some
>students was gabbing with him.  So they headed for balamb and to their
>rooms when they checked up on Irvine they saw him lying asleep on the

Kasumi: Bed of spikes Selphie put on the sofa.

>sofa and Zell headed for Irvine's room. "Hey you guys look at this!" They
>saw Selphie in Irvine's bed. Seifer laughed. "I knew it! He couldn't resist
>making out with her! Hahaha!" Quistis whacked Seifer in the head very hard.

McDohl: Bomp-chicka-bow-wow...

>"Be quiet, you dummy!" Rinoa blushed. "Don't you think that's cute huh
>Squall?" "Not a word!" said Squall. Let's leave quickly. Unfortunately
>Irvine

Pesmerga: Had forgot to fully dress the lower half of his body.

>forgot to put her bra on and was still in his hands. "These... are....!!!"
>Then Zell had a nosebleed and fainted like a sissy. "Idiot!" Seifer dragged
>Zell out of the room, turned off the lights and closed the door!

Gremio [Seifer]: Damn chicken-wuss and his nose picking habit..

>Morning...

Kasumi: Is the time that everyone eats breakfast.
McDohl: And the time that....nevermind.
Alex's voice: Breakfast!
Jake's voice: Score!

>"Hey! Wait up will you!" "Catch me if you can!!" Selphie and Irvine was
>late for a Seed agents' meeting

McDohl: They was also late for their English grammar class.

>Cid sat on the chair and got to the point. "Since there is no action for
>now I want the SEED agents to have a vacation, I will contact you if there
>is something up! Okay, Dismissed!" They all left and the gang approached
>Irvine and Selphie.

Gremio: And then the orgy began...

>Seifer called Irvine. "Hey tough guy how was it? Did something Happen?"
>Irvine smiled slyly. "That's for me to know and for you to find out!"

Pesmerga: Much to Seifer's dismay, he never found out.

>Then Selphie pulled his arms and headed to his room. Quistis giggled and
>wondered what really happened that night. "Thanks to this dummy(pointing at
>Seifer), I'm really curious!"

McDohl: Quistis turned into a fairy from Breath of Fire 3.
Kasumi [Quistis]: DUMMY DUMMY DUMMY DUMMY!

>Squall shook his head and called Irvine. "Hey, cowboy!!" "What?"
>"Bang!(Pointing his Gunblade at Irvine)"

Gremio: Irvine then convulsed and fell over from the bullet wound in his chest.  The End.

>Irvine just winked back and smiled. When they reached The room. "Hey just
>wait there, Irvy and I'll get some

Kasumi [Selphie]: Leather whips, lubricate and pie.
Pesmerga: Pieeeee?
Gremio: Most likely an apple one.
McDohl: Someone killed Apple and stuffed her in a pie?!  Pieeeee?

>Snacks okay?" "Sure!" Then Irvine turned on the T.V. The replay of the
>concert was about to shown on T.V. "Hey, Selphie the concerts on T.V we can
>finally watch it.

Gremio [Irvine]: Since it's on TV again.

>After a month.....

McDohl [Jake]: Crap happened.  Shit occurred.

>Selphie lived and transferred to Irvine's room. That morning Irvine found
>that Selphie was not beside him

Pesmerga: He looked down at his unusually plump stomach.
McDohl [Irvine]: Tasted like chicken.
Kasumi: Wouldn't it be tuna?
Gremio: KASUMI!  You're beginning to act like the young master!

>He checked the kitchen. He checked outside but she was not there, just
>other SEED students. Then she heard a grunt in the bathroom he looked
>inside and Selphie was Vomiting. "Irvy Darling, I don't feel so good!"
>"Just call me Daddy!" ^_^

Pesmerga: x_X
McDohl: o_o
Kasumi: @_@
Gremio: -_-

>I dedicate this very first lemon to all my friends especially:
>Kokuraijintatsu alias Pakislasher Sanosuke^_<, Squall himself(Ron-Ron),
>Durh fuhrer^_^, the master of raindrops Ramon and me Saitou I greet you
>AKU, SOKU, ZAN!

Pesmerga: ZAN, TETSU, KEN!

Everyone leaves the theater and steps back onto the bridge.

Kasumi: Matt-sama...can we have a baby?
McDohl: What?!  Not right now Kasumi!
Gremio: Another young master to take care of...I agree that it could wait.
McDohl: That hurt Gremio.
Gremio: One young master full of curiosity is enough!
McDohl: That's enough Gremio...
Gremio: What would your father say?!
McDohl: He'd say 'SHUT UP AND MAKE SOME STEW GREMIO!'.
Gremio: *gasp* I almost forgot about the stew!


Gremio panics and hits the camera while he flees.

_____________________________________________________________
The Only End My Friend

[Season One MSTings]

Episode 001: Zelgadis the Rapper - Prologue
Episode 002: The Anime Laws
Episode 003: Zelgadis the Rapper - I need a hero
Episode 004: Time Flies